


Idiots Doing Idiot Things

by raegrayson



Category: D.Gray-man
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-28
Updated: 2013-09-03
Packaged: 2017-12-21 14:32:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,582
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/901389
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/raegrayson/pseuds/raegrayson
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A collection of high school/college au fic things.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. idiots giving advice to other idiots

**Author's Note:**

> a long time ago, my dearest kitty asked me for daisya/kanda/lavi modern au. this happened instead. we have an elaborate high school/college au in our heads, but this is fairly stand alone? i guess. at the time that i wrote this i was really obsessed with mass effect. (i still am lbr)

"It’s 2013," Daisya announces, kicking his soccer ball into the air and catching it on his other foot in a complicated display of dexterity. 

"Thanks for the update," Kanda replies, popping out from behind a crate to blow away a geth before it can kill Tali. He’s not even sure when he started playing this game. He’s not usually a fan of video games, but Alma and Daisya play it. Alma left it running the other day when he disappeared to do…whatever and Kanda was bored. 

He’s been playing it for a week. But only when Alma is never around. Daisya is sworn to secrecy, but they both know he’s just waiting to bust it out at the right moment.

"I’m just saying," Daisya continues, flipping the ball a few times before letting it fall into his hands and sitting up. “It’s 2013. People are totally cool with the whole gay thing, mostly. Homo marriage is a thing, video game characters are suckin’ each other’s dicks. You have no more excuses for being a pussy."  

Kanda pauses the game. This way he can focus the entirety of his disbelief of Daisya. “What?" he grinds out. 

"Don’t play dumb, pretty boy," Daisya smirks, pointing at Kanda with an unlit cigarette dangling between his fingers. (He’s trying to quit, those things’ll kill ya. He’s too pretty to die young.) Kanda continues to watch (glare at) Daisya and Daisya sighs. “Fine, be that way. I’m talkin’ about ya big homo crush on Junior." 

Kanda quietly contemplates throwing the controller at Daisya’s head. But it’s Alma’s, and Alma can get pissy if you break his things. “You’re an idiot," he says, instead. 

"You wound me," Daisya says like he hasn’t been called worse. (By Kanda. By Alma. By his parents. By their teachers.) “But your denial, while adorable, is only hurting you. And Junior, I guess. I’d warn you not to make him cry, but he’s made of tougher stuff than that." Kanda decides to ignore Daisya. Engaging him only makes it worse. He turns back to the game and moves through Peak 15. Daisya keeps talking. “Junior’s hot as shit and we both know it. Plus, he’s a genuinely nice guy."

"He’s an idiot," Kanda replies, very calmly, as he pumps fictional aliens full of fictional bullets. 

"You think everyone is an idiot," Daisya points out. “Which is funny, because he’s actually way smarter than any of the rest of us. And you know it and it turns you on." Kanda doesn’t reply. He shoots a Rachni in the face. “Fine, be a bitch. I’m just lookin’ out for ya, man. When Junior gets fed up with your hot and cold, will-we-or-won’t-we bullshit and doesn’t feel like taking your weird forms of angry affection anymore, we both know you’re going to show up at my window, sad and horny and you’re going to call his name again when you-"

Kanda snarls and beats a Rachni to death with the butt of his assault rifle. “Lavi can do whatever he likes," Kanda hisses. 

"Well, I’m glad you feel that way, because we’re going out later," Daisya says, watching Kanda carefully. 

Kanda watches numbly as Shepard gets her face melted off by an angry mutant alien bug.  _Resume?_  the game asks. “Why?" Kanda asks. 

"Because he’s hot and funny and smart and you won’t get your dick out of your own ass and he deserves to be happy-," Daisya says, but the words get choked off as Kanda is suddenly in his face with his fists clenched in Daisya’s shirt. “Whoa, tiger, this got sexy." 

"Anyone but him," Kanda growls and pushes Daisya back into the couch. He stands and strides towards the door, pausing to pull on his boots and his coat. 

"Goin’ to Junior’s?" Daisya asks and smirks as the door slams on his question. Like Daisya would ever go out with Lavi. He’s not into redheads. 

Just idiot brunets. 

Daisya slides his phone out of his pocket and taps out a text to Alma.  _Your dumb brother left his video game up when he went to do homo things. Gonna ruin his life a little._

_I won’t cry at your funeral,_ comes the reply three seconds later.


	2. idiots at a zoo

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> daisya is a danger to himself and others.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ....i went to the zoo today? i have no explanation im sorry. this takes place at some point after the first one i've just decided to stick all my dorky high school/college au ficlets into this one...thing.

Kanda's head whips around as he hears the door to the reptile house bangs open, followed shortly by Daisya's triumphant shout and a pained wheeze from Lavi. Sure enough, Lavi is leaning against the wall just inside the doors, Daisya draped across his back. They're both soaked to the skin, Lavi's white undershirt clinging indecently to the muscles of his chest and stomach.

"You're wet," Kanda announces, bluntly, moving towards them immediately.

"Brilliant deduction, genius," Daisya says, shaking his head like a dog and splattering water all over the posters on the wall. “Imagine that. Not like it’s raining or anything."

Kanda raises an eyebrow and looks around. Allen and Lenalee are leaning against each other, flicking through the pictures she's taken. Alma is moving towards the door, looking alarmed. Miranda is peering at a frog with Marie. Krory has his face all but pressed against the floor to ceiling fish tank. Everyone is slightly damp, hair slightly frizzy but no where near as wet as Daisya and Lavi are. "We managed to avoid it."

"Yeah, well," Lavi replies, twitching his head to try and get the hair out of his face. Unthinkingly, Kanda reaches out and brushes it to the side. "Thanks. Y'guys didn't run screamin' into the rain like idiots, yelling _I am the thunder god!_ until y'wiped out and fucked up your ankle, forcing your dashing redheaded friend to come to your rescue."

"Daisya!" Lenalee gasps. "You're bleeding!"

"I know!" Daisya cheers and sure enough, Kanda tears his gaze away from Lavi's face and pecs to see watery blood dripping from a scrape running the length of Daisya's shin. Alma has drawn level with them now and is giving Daisya concerned, frowny looks.

“Alma, take this, he’s heavy for such a little dude,” Lavi says, and he releases Daisya somewhat unceremoniously, dropping him onto his feet.

Daisya hops around on one foot to avoid putting pressure on his injured leg and eventually flops against Alma's chest whining, "It hurts."

"You brought this on yourself," Alma sighs, guiding him over to a bench opposite the wall of fish. Daisya pushes his face into Alma's neck and grumbles.

Kanda rolls his eyes and focuses on Lavi, who is stretching his arms over his head now that he's free of his burden. Kanda watches, transfixed, as the wet material clings to Lavi's muscles and starts when Lavi says, "Yuu?"

Kanda snaps his eyes back up go Lavi's face and does not flush at the fond amusement he finds there. "Jeez," Lavi groans, shivering and wrapping his arms around himself. "Now I'm freezin'. Thanks, Daisya."

"Take off your shirt," Kanda commands, unbuttoning his own black over shirt. It'll be slightly too small, but at least it's dry.

Lavi is staring at him in confusion. "You want me to strip?"

"Just your overshirt, idiot," Kanda grunts, shrugging out of his, leaving him in just the black tank serving as an undershirt.

"Oh," Lavi says and strips out of his wet shirt awkwardly. Kanda drapes his own shirt across Lavi's shoulders, watching closely as the redhead burrows into it. It's not quite big enough, like he'd thought, but Lavi seems pleased and he's not shivering anymore. "Thanks, Yuu."

Kanda huffs, grinning at him, and leans against the wall beside him, only to startle to attention when Daisya yells, "Tell me someone else fucking saw that."

“Amazing,” Alma drawls, raising his eyebrows dramatically.

"Please tell me you got a picture of that, Lenalee," Allen croaks.  

Lenalee squeaks and nods, looking like she might start crying happy tears at any second. Kanda freezes, torn between not wanting to make her cry for real and wanting to snarl at Allen. Lavi solves his problem for him by viciously hurling his balled up wet shirt at Allen's face.

Allen squawks and flails backwards, drawing the attention of Miranda and Marie. Now everyone is staring at them, with the exception of Krory, still entranced by the fish in the tank. “Did we miss something?” Miranda asks, staring at them with wide eyes. “Oh, Kanda! Did you give Lavi your shirt? That’s so sweet!”

Kanda makes a muffled grunting sound and Lavi says, “Miranda, Daisya’s hurt.”

Miranda turns her wide eyes on Daisya, who’s leaning against Alma looking bewildered. “Daisya, oh my goodness, what did you do?” She scurries over to him, Marie following. Lenalee cuffs Allen around the ear and drags him away, saying something about the fish.

Kanda slumps back against the wall and looks over at Lavi, who is watching him with an intent heat in his eyes that makes Kanda shiver. “What?” he asks, gruffly.

“You look real good in that tank top, Yuu,” Lavi murmurs, leaning in close. “S’distracting. Kinda makes me wish it was time to head back to the hotel.”

Kanda smirks and casts his eyes down to the sliver of clingy white fabric still exposed by the gap in his shirt and drags his gaze back up. “I know the feeling,” he rumbles back. “But if we leave now, Lenalee will cry.”

Lavi sighs dramatically and drops his head against the wall next to Kanda’s. “I suppose we’ll just have to control ourselves.”

“It’ll be a struggle,” Kanda agrees, with a suppressed smile and he’s only half-joking.

 


End file.
